Everything passes. It has to. That's the beauty and tragedy of it.
She thought deep and hard about her decisions, trying to unearth the questions from the recesses of her turbulent mind, like heavy flotsam from a sea-borne wreckage.
“Why should I give myself to him so freely?” she mused. “What do I get in return?”
A broken heart?
A guilty conscience?
A walk down “sham-ory” lane years later?
She found no answers for herself. Only bald, naked truths that refused to give her any solace.
He didn’t care. He never did.
Both the he’s she had fallen for.
One had crushed her self-esteem and let her get away from himself without a qualm while another wanted her for his selfish pleasure but refused to give her the honor she deserved.
They had their own lives to live. Their priorities set and their futures chalked out. Their beds warm and consciences sleep-lulled. And don’t forget – their satiated libidos…Don’t forget that for one single second.
She, however, tossed and turned every night in bed, questioning her naivete and lack of judgement. For being nice to a fault, for no apparent reason.
Unable to say “NO” when it mattered. Unable to stare coldly and brush off an insincere compliment even when she could plainly see through their bullshit. Unable to quiet her restless mind and find a modicum of peace. Unable to turn back time…