Everything passes. It has to. That's the beauty and tragedy of it.
March 22, 2015. Today will go down as the day I sold my guitar… 😦 And despite the fact that it was a very successful sale, I am feeling extremely down in the dumps. My lovely red resplendent guitar that I had got as a birthday gift from my husband who believed in me when I said I would learn to play it…got it for me just because I expressed a wish. Sold, gone, in the hands of a stranger. Maybe that person will cherish it more than I did, may be it will gather dust in the corner of someone’s else’s home. Sigh!
You might be thinking what a callous, heartless person I must be to part with something like that, right? A gift of love from your better half?
Yeah, well I feel quite lower than the moss that covers the surface of a wet rock, so I wouldn’t blame you if you got all judgmental on me. True it was just a ‘thing’, a material possession, something you can get anywhere, anytime, not to be fretting and feeling sorry about, so just chill (my husband’s words, not mine. Whether you believe me or not, I am the sentimental one, hanging on to things that hold memories, irrespective of whether I need them or not, use them or not)… Anyway, the reason behind my decision to part with it is that I will be moving to another place for an indefinite period of time and I cannot carry everything I own just because I am attached to them. So that’s what people do, don’t they? Get rid of things that are more or less a burden or worth disposing off, having lost their allure or usefulness?
Yeah well, my guitar was neither a burden, nor had it lost its allure permanently. So what if it had I had been forever postponing practicing the chords I had learnt? Or had gotten a little lazy over the months…or been at best a mediocre singer… It was still freakin’ awesome! I had fallen in love with the shiny red piece of wood and metal the moment I had laid eyes on it in the store.
I had been convinced I had in me, somewhere buried deep down, a talent for playing musical instruments. May be I don’t sing like a rock star. So what? Musical instruments were different ball game, right? I had convinced a colleague at my workplace to help me learn the chords after work and diligently lugged it around for after hours practice sessions every Monday. He was gracious enough to spend time to teach the basics to a few ‘wannabes’ like me (oh yes, looks like that’s what I was despite my ego wanting to vehemently deny the fact) stressing on the three key rules to mastering the instrument: 1. Practice, 2. Practice, 3. Practice.
That went on for a month may be. And then the colleague moved…and so did the first flush of excitement of playing the guitar. And practice, I didn’t. Life went on as my case-clad guitar sadly sat gathering dust, first in the corner of my living room, then in the corner of my bedroom. Every time, I glanced in the direction of the said corner, I would promise myself quelling the rising guilt within me, I would find time to re-acquaint myself to the guitar, practice and persevere. I would promise myself – Tomorrow. Definitely tomorrow.
And now the time is gone. Many such tomorrows came and slithered away. And now, as I prepare for a new phase in my life in a different place, shaking up the snow-globe of my life, a lot of things will change, for good or for worse. A lot of half-baked dreams will take a back-seat, making room for a lot of new ones. A lot of cherished things, accumulated over time will be discarded, given away, sold, packed away. The sale of my precious guitar has been the first in the line of fire, marking a change – inevitable and irrevocable. One thing is certain, though. Change, no matter how constant, is sometimes a b*$@#!
So, it is time to move on. Or make the most of what I want, what I have, while I still can.
It is now or never.